The Chicken's Revenge

Introduction

Once upon a time, bla bla bla. You know all of this stuff anyway so I’ll just skip to the story.

Life in the Village of Survivors has been going great! The village has resorted to being chickaterrians (people who only eat chicken and vegetables) after they heard that animals, except for chickens, are friendly and helpful. After they found out what had happened to me the one day they thought it would be best to be kind to animals.

The only thing about the village that gets on my nerves is the fact that we have the same routine every day. People are getting tired of constantly doing the same work.

Believe me, being smacked in the head with a pan every day while cooking with Susie is NOT fun. She doesn’t understand how to save time! I’m just not good at cooking, but she can’t jam that into her thick unbroken skull, unlike mine, which is thin and cracked because of her!

Johnny is even worse than Suzie. I didn’t even think you could be worse than Susie! Since we don’t hunt anymore, we have to butcher chickens instead. Because the chickens are a limited resource, there has to be a lot of breeding. When you have a lot of breeding, you have a lot of egg hatching. Need I say more? Johnny makes me manage the breeding. Every rooster wants to get its feathers up in a hen, but the hens don’t want that noise maker anywhere near them. I have to hold down the hen so the rooster can “do its work.” I’m not going into details about how that all goes down, but the hens are not very happy about it, so they like to peck and scratch at me. Meanwhile Johnny is hatching the eggs by sitting on them. He has the nonpainful and easy job.

Even after that, we have slaughter duty. Johnny mans the axe and I have to hold down more chickens. I have 7 fingers left because of Johnny!

The village masters can see that people are getting antsy but refuse to change the schedule. They’re worried that once they give in, the system will look weak and vulnerable. They think that the villagers will start taking control and that they’ll be left powerless.

What they don’t know is that we villagers are creating a secret organization to have an uprising. We’re sick and tired of the village masters controlling the new society and we hope to take them down. After this war, there may be nobody left to take over the new civilization. This could end badly.

Chapter 1

I stepped out of my bed after a weird dream that I was abducted by the evil bees and they put me in a bowl of honey. Their tiny bee tongues licked all of the honey away and licked me too. It was all tickley and gross. Then they ate me. This time when I woke up I knew that it wasn’t reality but Theodore was licking me. Theodore is what I had name my bear and Victor was what I named my alligator.

“Stop it you!” I told him. He backed off and started wagging his little bear tail stub. I had a lump on my forehead from Susie the day before. My ear was permanently damaged from Johnny when he “accidently” let a chicken loose on me.

I had to have another day of this. I thought this was the village of survivors not the village of soon to be dead. Tonight was our secret organization’s meeting at the snake pit so I just had to make it through the day. I opened the door and fell backwards.

The next thing I know, I’m on the floor with a big bump on my head. I managed to open my eyes and saw I wasn’t in my shack. I was in a large room. A tall lady started walking toward me. Ellen Beth Wasp, The grand village master. She had created the village, and currently she was our enemy.

“Jimbo Bobby Tree. Fancy Seeing you here. Why exactly are you laying on my dirt floor? Oh wait, that’s right. I had Suzie knock you out and drag you here.” She said as Suzie walked up to her glaring at me and smacking her frying pan in her hand.

“It’s nice to see you too, Ellen. Thanks for the invitation.” I replied. “But why am I here?”

“Because I know you rebels are planning on taking over the village. Tell me everything you know.” She demanded.

“Why would I ever help you defeat me? Come on Ellen, I thought you were smarter than this.” I said

“Because if you don’t help me stop this war, I’ll make sure you never see what happens next!” she said.

“I’m not talking Ellen, no matter what you do.” I said.

“Fine. Have it your way. Johnny! Bring out the chicken!” She barked.

Johnny came walking out with a chicken in a metal cage.

“Fine, Fine I’ll talk! What do you want to know?”

“I’m glad you came through Jimbo. What I want to know is what you are planning on doing.” she asked.

“Oh, just the ushe. You know, like over throwing you and taking over the village. Not much!” I said like it was nothing.

“And how do you plan on doing that?” Susie asked.

“Susie, please! I’m the one asking questions here!” Ellen yelled. “As I was saying, how are you planning on doing that?” She quickly glared at Susie.

“Well it seems like you have enough problems to worry about so I won’t bother you with this.” I said standing up.

“Where do you think your going? Sit back down,” Johnny said.

“I AM THE ONE GIVING ORDERS HERE! WILL YOU 2 JUST SHUT UP!” Ellen Exploded!

“Well I can see you’re a little busy right now so I’ll be leaving.” I told them.

I wanted to dramatically break out of the shack to make my point but I miserably failed. I thought since it was made out of straw and sticks, I would be able to slam against it and break out. No. You can’t slam against it! The wall didn’t break so I fell backwards. So much for that idea. Instead, I just ran out the door before they could keep me in.

“Don’t Just stand there you 2, do something! You will regret this Jimbo Bobby Tree!” Ellen shouted from behind me. I could faintly hear Ellen yelling at the 2 for letting me get away.

I ran all the way to the secret meeting spot of our organization near the snake pit.

Chapter 2

The other villagers were there with torches because it was already dark out. I had met some new villagers since my first month as a survivor. Susanne Susan Bud was a florist from Massachusetts. Judy Ann Mud was a dog surfing instructor from Colorado which explains why she went out of business. Joseph Ben Clover was a fortune cookie writer from Oklahoma.

They all were gathered around the pit. The village masters were my friends, but they were on the wrong side. They had to fight for Ellen. Benny was my best friend, but he was an enemy too.

“Where were you?” Judy Ann Mud questioned. She was the head of the operation and was the brains of the group.

“I was just abducted by the village masters, No biggy!” I said still out of breath from running.

“Why the heck would they want you?” Susanne asked in disbelief.

“I have no idea. I was in my shack one moment then the next thing I know I wake up in the Master Shack. They were trying to find out what we were planning but I wouldn’t tell them anything, well at least until they brought the chicken out.” I explained.

“Jimbo! How could you? What did you even tell them?” Joseph asked.

“I just said that we were planning on overthrowing them. Look I just didn’t want to be attacked by a chicken 3 times in 1 day.” I replied.

“Well they're definitely trying to figure out what we’re doing. They’re planning something and we have to figure it out.” Suzanne said trying to be professional.

“Any new reports from our spies?” Judy said.

Joseph and Suzanne were spies, but Joseph wasn’t very good.

“I saw the masters talking in the master shack.” Joseph said.

“Did you hear any of the conversation?” Judy asked.

“No.” He replied. I could see Judy roll her eyes in the faint torch light.

“How about you Suzanne, you got anything?”

“Yeah, when I was farming in the gardens, I saw Ellen in the shack talking to Susie and Johnny. They walked out of the shack and I overheard them saying that Ellen has a secret weapon.” Suzanne replied.

“We have to find out what that secret weapon is. Any other reports?” Judy said.

“Yeah, I have one.” A torch light emerged from the shadows. When the figure came closer, I saw that it was Benny.

“Intruder! Intruder! You came here to spy!” Joseph shouted.

“Hush yourself, remember I’m a village master, I can get you kicked out any time. And I’m not a spy. I came here to join your team,” He said.

“Why? I thought you were loyal to Ellen.” I asked him.

“I’m Not loyal to Ellen. That girl’s got empire issues. I’m only on her side because I have to be. That’s why I’m secretly coming. Word has it you would be meeting here.” He said.

“If your information is useful We’ll let you in.” Susanne said.

“I know what their secret weapon is.” He said.

“For Peet’s Sake, Benny! What is it already!” I yelled a little too loud.

“Shut up! SHHHHHHH!” Joseph hushed.

“It’s Jimbo Bobby Tree.” He said.

“What? That makes no sense. How can the secret weapon be him?” Suzanne asked.

“No you idiots! The secret weapon isn’t the Jimbo Bobby Tree it’s Jimbo Bobby Tree. It’s a blow gun that shoots toxic marshmallows. All of the village masters hate you so they name it Jimbo Bobby Tree because they think it will destroy the village just like you.” He explained.

“That does make a lot more sense.” Suzanne admitted.

“Welcome to the group, Benny!” Judy accepted him. I was so happy that he was on our team. I really didn’t feel like practically killing him.

“How are we going to take over the village?” Judy asked. “Are we gonna declare war on them in a note, or are we gonna surprise attack during the night?”

“It depends on if we want to kill them or not.” Suzanne said.

“You won’t know until you try,” Joseph replied in his fortune cookie language.

“Since humans are nearly extinct, no killing, but we could maim or seriously injure,” I suggest.

“Works for me!” Said Benny.

“We still don’t have a plan though,” Susanne started.

“I say we do this the right way and declare war on the village masters. If we want a war, then let’s have one.” I said.

“What are we going to fight with? It’s not like we have guns, or army tanks.” Joseph asked.

“We could always just have hand to hand combat. Remember we don’t want to kill them.” Judy said.

“We still don’t have a battle plan.” Suzanne reminded us. Judy started drawing a layout of the village in the dirt with a stick.

“If we come in from the west side, from the woods, we can sneak around from behind. Then we can take their empire down!” She said and smudged the dirt where the master shack was. “That’s that. We have a battle plan.” Benny said. “Everybody meet here with all of their animals. Tomorrow, we have a war to win.” Suzanne said.

Chapter 3

We all started standing up, brushing the dirt off our butts and walking back to our shacks to get a good night’s sleep. We would need it in the morning if we wanted to take down Ellen.

Chapter 4

The next day we gathered in the woods with anything we had to fight with. I brought Theodore (my bear) and Victor (my alligator) with me. Benny brought Rudy, his pet wolf that I helped him get when it tried to attack chickens (which would have been fine with me).

Suzanne had a long piece of parchment with a written note at the top, “We the Villagers, of the Village of Survivors, in order to form a more perfect society, declare war on you, the Village masters.”

“Everybody needs to sign this,” She said passing it around. “I will take this to Ellen and the others. If all goes well, we should easily beat them. It is 5 against 3, anyway.”

“When will the war begin?” Benny asked.

“High noon at the riverfront today. Our first target is Jimbo Bobby Tree and not the guy, the blow gun.” Judy said.

The others started leaving but Benny and I stayed.

“Did any of you think about what’s gonna happen after you win? Who’s gonna take over?”

“We actually hadn’t thought of that. Now that you mention it, after this war, there might be another war. We’ll all be fighting for the power to take Ellen’s place.” I said patting Rudy on the head. “We won’t know much until noon.”

“Well I’ll see you then.” He said and walked away. I took Theodore and Victor back to my shack. I walked in and shut the door. Victor crawled into his corner and Theodore sat next to my bed. All we could do now is wait.

Chapter 5

It was time for war after a nice nap. I got Theo and Victor and took them to the river front.

“Get in position. The war’s about to start.” Judy said.

Benny had brought Rudy so I went over to him.

“Something doesn’t feel right.” He said.

“What do mean? It’s a perfect day to have war. The clouds are rolling in, the river’s foggy and people are about to die!” I said sarcastically. But something did feel off.

“How did Ellen even get in control of the village?” I asked.

“She was the first survivor. She was on a class trip in this remote area when the bees struck. All the students died but she managed to live. She knew there must be other living people left so she decide to make a new town where society could still thrive and work its way back to the top. Since she was the creator, she took control. It’s been like this since the beginning.” He told me.

“Well it sounds like she’s been in rein for too long.” I said and readied my stance.

We could see the Masters through the haze of the heat walking out of their shack. Slowy they came closer and closer. Johnny had a boombox on his shoulder. They stopped a good 20 yards away.

“Johnny, que my dramatic music!” Ellen barked. Johnny set down the boombox and hit play. The refrain from “Warriors” by Imagine Dragons started blurting.

“Woh Woh Woh.” I started. Johnny stopped the music. “Where is our dramatic music?” I asked.

“We didn’t bring any.” Joseph said.

“Excuse me, could I borrow the boombox?” I asked walking up to Johnny

“Sure.” He said handing it over. I fiddled with the nobs and pressed play.

Unfortunately we didn’t have an epic battle song. Instead we had a dramatic battle song! “Carmina Burana”!

“Hey Ellen, could we do this whole battle in slow motion just to make this more dramatic?” I asked.

“Works for me” she replied. I set the boom box aside. The rest of the group seemed a little ticked off.

“Char...” Judy started but was interrupted by a very alarmed cluck.

Everybody turned around and saw a huge army of chickens with little feather sticks as swords.

“Cluck Cluck Cluck Clucken Bauck, Cluck Cluck Cluck.” The chicken in the front clucked in its chicken language. I can only assume that it was declaring war on both the village masters and the villagers because before we knew it, there were chickens in my face. I really, really, REALLY!!!!!!!, hate chickens now.

This war would’ve been eventful enough without the chickens but now it was pretty much every man for himself. We were fighting off chickens while attacking the village masters. The animals were eating people’s faces and gnawing on their legs. Susie was swinging her frying pan at the chickens yelling,

“È pulcini stupidi! Io ho con la testa per questo. Vi sarà una deliziosa cena. Preferite salsa al marsala o balsamico? Ti odio! Ti odio! Ti odio! Ottieni il tuo piccolo cacca nostro week-end, ma lontano da me. Sarai morto dopo questo! I guarantee esso!!!!!”

Even Johnny was freaking out. “You little idiot! Get off my face!” He was dancing and spazzing out.

Ellen had dropped the blow gun when a chicken attacked her and I could see it lying on the floor through the feathers in the air. Ellen saw it too.

“Get Jimbo Bobby Tree!” I yelled. The villagers started running after me. Joseph even threw a pine cone at my head.

“Not me Jimbo Bobby Tree, the blow gun!” I yelled.

Ellen and I looked at each other then sprinted to get it first. It all happened in slow motion. We both kept getting closer and closer. I reached out and slid across the grass. My hand touched the blow gun and I brought it up to my mouth. I blew as hard as I could. The toxic marshmallow flew out of the gun and hit Ellen in the eye. We all heard an agonizing yell from her.

The war stopped. The chickens landed. The Villagers stood still. The masters dropped their weapons. The animals let loose. It was over. We had defeated them. Everybody started breaking out in hugs and handshakes. We won the war.

“Victory is ours!” Benny shouted.

Chapter 6

“As leader of this battle, I will take the position as grand village master!” Judy said.

“Wait, who said you were in charge?” Suzanne asked.

“Yeah, we never agreed on this.” Joseph added.

“Well it’s about time you know. Ellen and I were best friends before the bees came. We were on the class trip together and were separated. When she found me we were so happy. After she found out that the villagers were mad she asked me to join the alliance against her to take over after the battle.” She said and walked over to Johnny and Suzie.

“I am your new ruler.” She said.

“This isn’t right Judy and you know it. You can’t do this. Jimbo Bobby Tree is the one who killed Ellen and won the war, not you.”

“Oh you still don’t get it. I was on her side this whole time. I helped abduct Jimbo because I knew he would get in my way.” She explained.

“If you were such great friends then why did you let me kill her?” I asked.

“Because I wanted to take control of the new society. I am the one and only ruler now” She said.

“Hey what about us? You promised to let us help rule.” Susie said.

“Oh please, dear you actually thought I was being serious? Letting you 2 idiots help me rule?” Judy was taking this too far.

“You lied to us.” Johnny was enraged. He was so mad. He lifted up a chicken and threw it in her face.

“Now Susie!” He yelled and Susie wammed her pan into Judy’s face. Now it was finally over.

“Jimbo Bobby Tree, I nominate you to be the new Village Grand Master!” Benny said.

“Agreed.” The others said. I, Jimbo Bobby Tree, was the all new Village Grand Master. The new hope to our future society. Man, this, is going to miserably fail.