A Day In The Life Of Jimbo Bobby Tree

Introduction

Once Upon A Time in a village far far away, I woke up. Now I know that that isn’t the best introduction but it’s what happened and I speak the truth. I woke up from a horrible dream that evil bees destroyed the universe and wiped out all of the human race.

Chapter 1

I lifted my head from the pillow and realized I wasn’t in my house in Montana. I was in some wooden shack! Nothing was making sense. I climbed out of bed onto the dirt floor. The sun blinded me as I opened the door. People were working and tinkering outside until everybody stopped and stared at me like I was Oprah. They started shouting “he’s awake!” I didn’t know what parallel universe I was in but I did like the attention. This big eyed weirdo came up to me.

“You are in the village of survivors Jimbo Bobby Tree. After the disaster I found you in the street still alive but faint, so I brought you here,” he explained with his google googly eyes bouncing around. I know I don’t remember much, but I do know my name is not Jimbo Bobby Tree.

“My name is definitely not Jimbo Bobby Tree,” I said to him.

“Well, when I was bringing you back to the village you muttered those words so I

just thought it was your name. On the other hand, my name is Benny Boy Grasseed,” he replied.

He took me to a fire pit where bacon was simmering in a pan. He told me the bees destroyed electricity and all other powered devices so they had taken a trip back to the 1700 civilization era.

After eating a delicious bacon breakfast, he showed me around the village and made sure I felt welcome. He told me were humanity's only hope to bring back civilization, which was probably not going to happen with me helping.

Being in the village wasn’t like living in the White House, but it was better than nothing and I loved it.

Chapter 2

I was in the town of absolute Knowwhere. We named the town Knowwhere because we don’t know where we are (hah). My dream turned out to be reality, but I survived and that’s all that matters. After a long night’s rest I was ready to start the second day of being a “survivor”.

The river sparkled, the sun shined, Only one person was dieing of salmonella, so it was a good day. As a member of the village I had to complete my duties.

To Do List:

• hunt

• fish

• make lunch

I had all day to finish my 3 things though because nobody knew what time it was, so I could make lunch at 10:00pm. After the disaster the only survivors lost track of time. Mostly because they went a little cuckoo (hah).

To start the day I headed out to the woods with my handmade bow and arrow. In the village we never leave the house filled area without a buddy so I met up with my buddy Johnny Bob Shrubbery. We hunt for bear in the outskirts of Knowwhere. We call the forest Anywhere just for fun.

Hunters just walk around until we spot something, and then we shoot at it.

Johnny was an expert knife thrower that was in the circus. He could hit a bear in the back from a mile away. I on the other hand was a professional chess player. I could trap a king in 2 moves which I do believe is a world record not to toot my own horn. If I can trap a king I can trap a bear. I mean it can’t be that hard.

It was my first day out hunting and the other hunters have claimed that they have seen a family of bears so I was sure we would go back to the village with a prize trophy. (I think that is what hunters call their game) We were about 5 feet into the woods when we saw 1 gleaming eye staring right at us. I drew back my bow and aimed it right at the eye. I let go.

Twang. The bow released. To my amazement the thing went down behind a bush. I thought I had killed it until I realized that I hadn’t shot anything. I hadn’t put an arrow on the stringy thingy. (sorry to all you hunters, I don’t know what it is)

Chapter 3

The next thing I saw was bear teeth, around my head. I knew Johnny left without me because I heard screaming that kept getting fainter. I tried peeling it off of my face, but that didn’t work because it was an 800 lb beast. Of course, because this is a fictional story, I didn’t die.

I poked the bear with my bow a couple of times but that didn’t help.

After I pried the bear off my face, he decided to latch on my leg. I drug him all the way back to the village.

This bear had a sense of humor which I respected, so I didn’t have the heart to kill him. Instead I took him as my pet.

It turned out he liked chess. After he won a very intense game I went to do the 2nd thing on my to do list.

Chapter 4

It was time to go fishing. I took my spear to the river. The water was crystal clear so you could see the fish easily. The river had huge trout and catfish which were easy to catch because they’re slow. I waded in the river waiting for a fish to swim by. Then, I saw it, there was one right near my foot. I got ready to stab my spear right through it.

Spling! I pounded the spear into it. The river filled with a cloud of blood. It was surely dead. Then I realized that it wasn’t a fish I stabbed. It was my foot I stabbed. I fell over feeling faint. I was out like a light. I woke up eventually. I woke up in an alligator’s mouth.

My first question was why is there an alligator in a fast moving river. The second question I had was why do animals like my head so much. Those questions would never be answered.

My blood must have attracted the ravenous dinosaur.

I was starting to think that the day wasn’t going so good. Since I have a small head, it would only take about 1 hour for my head to come out of the alligator.

After a long, very long hour, I reattached my head and ditched the idea of fishing. You may be wondering what happened with the alligator, well, after giving him a long reasonable lecture of how it is wrong to bite somebody’s head off, he apologized. We then became good friends.

Chapter 5

The last thing on my list was to make lunch. I have never cooked in my life. I lived with my parents ever since I was born so my mom cooked for me. To learn how to cook, Susie Sue Flower, who was an Italian Chef, was going to teach me. I was going to learn how to make the most simple dish on the face of the earth...... Scrambled Eggs! I gathered eggs from the chickens outside the kitchen hut.

Susie showed me how to crack an egg. She said to lightly tap on the lip of a bowl until it splits, then to open it like a hinge. Why would you waste so much time doing that when you can smack it against the table and just scoop it into a bowl? I did it my way just to save time. I got yelled at and hit in the head with a frying pan. It didn’t feel so good.

She showed me how to slowly stir the egg so it will become fluffy. Again just to save time I jostled the pan quickly over the fire (because we don’t have electricity due to those bees) and put more wood on the fire so it would be hotter. She didn’t like that I did that either, so she pushed me in the fire.

Alas, the dish was complete. Susie said “tu siamo un disonore a il culinario arti” and then walked away. I think she was complimenting me!

I shared my dish with my friend Benny Boy Grasseed who was a dog food tester so he tasted a lot of nasty things before. I thought if my eggs were that bad, he would be able to handle it. We sat down on a picnic bench and got ready to eat. Benny’s eyes are normally really big, when he ate my dish I was sure his eyes were going to pop. He ran off holding his mouth like he was going to barf. I have no idea why.

I was just about ready to dig in when I heard a very alarmed cluck from a chicken standing behind me. The cluck turned into what sounded like a siren. I turned around to see what the chicken was protesting about and got a big old beak in my face.

After all of what has happened today, I should have expected this. I was just going to assume that the chicken was mad about me eating eggs. I was a little upset that the chicken was eating my face, but hey it’s just revenge.

I have been able to accept a bear attack, and an alligator attack but this, this was the last straw. That night I had chicken for supper. You can only imagine where I got the chicken.

Chapter 6

Living in the Village of Survivors is tough work with ups and downs but I manage. My new friends make my life a lot better too. In this new world I can only hope that man will befriend animal, and that our new civilization will be better than the last.